“Oh, you’re not married yet?” “Why aren’t you married?” These are two of the many questions married people pepper us singles with. When people hear the word single, many sit awkwardly in their chair, walk away or fall into a daydream about their future spouse.
Perhaps you have read somewhere or heard sermons entitled, ‘Singleness for a season’ or even, ‘When will I marry?’ In contrast, I am about to plunge into something I don’t think we see often enough: promoting singleness. We hear many sermons on promoting marriage and being prepared for marriage but how about being prepared for a calling of life-time singleness or, perhaps, a longer than expected season of singleness? Drawing from the Word of God and from my own journey, my goal is to encourage you to be content in your singleness and to shed some positive light on this topic instead of frowning on it.First, a little about myself. I am single, have no children, and have never been engaged or married. I am turning 40 years old. I have been a born again Christian for about 17 years. Yes, I am happily single and loving every day of it and I truly embrace this lifestyle which God has blessed me with. For the first three-fourths of my walk of faith in the Lord Jesus, however, I had run from the singleness God was calling me to. Let me briefly describe this journey. A year or two into my walk of faith, a burning desire began growing within me to love the Lord with all my might; and for me that meant laying down all other loves. I remember in my excitement telling someone that I want never to marry. Not understanding how this was springing from the innermost depths of me, her response was, “See how you feel in the future.” As time went on, however, that intense desire faded a little, and I thought about the life I could have if I married. I have dated a few times over the years but God has always shut the door on these relationships. The ending of each relationship was done in peace and there were no hard feelings. God had spoken to me through repetitive dreams and other means about remaining single. Should I force a door back open when clearly God shut it? I had run from my calling by ignoring that pure desire I once had and starting relationships. I was never truly at peace when I was dating. So when the each relationship ended, I was really receiving confirmation in my spirit and a positive tick to a consecrated lifestyle.You may wonder whether a person can truly be content single. To be honest with you, it took number of years to come to where I am at now in my life, and it took much prayer and persistence in seeking God. It is by his grace that I can accept this call on my life. I have devoted myself to God and I firmly believe that being single is my ideal marital status.   In the inspired Word of God, Paul expressed his wish that all would be single like him, so that they could serve God without distraction. He went on to say, however, that each of us has his/her own gift, whether it be the divine empowering to be single or to be married (1 Corinthians 7:7). Whilst you have you own gift from God and the Lord will give you the capacity and ability to live out that gift, I am here to focus on singleness. Neither marriage nor being single is intrinsically better than the other. Each has its own responsibilities and cares and blessings. But let’s consider this:

1 Corinthians 7:32-34 But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.

These verses have so much in them. I will keep it simple and digestible. As mentioned earlier Apostle Paul desires that all people be single so that we would be free from concern and free from troubles of the flesh. This passage shows us that a single person is more concerned for the things of the Lord, how she/he can serve God and expand his Kingdom. She/he is undivided in devotion to God. The single person can go out to a mission field and not be concerned for their spouse and possible children. We are told to use our time wisely and what better way to use our time by serving God and people. Ministry and serving the Lord God should be the focus for a single person’s life and then there are those little things in everyday life that make singleness so liberating and enjoyable.
From personal experience, I get to enjoy so many things being single. I am free to spend as long as I want with the Lord meditating in his Word, worshipping him (I can wake up 3 AM and put on some worship songs on and praise him) and praying without worrying about disturbing my husband, or needing to restrict my time by having a husband to look after. I can attend as many meetings as I like or I can even go on weekend retreats without having to consider my spouse. I do not in any way think I am missing out on life because my calling is to be single. If anything, God is able to use me to the fullest as I am obedient and this, to me, is truly living. As a matter of fact, I think marriage would be a heaviness for me. God created me to operate as a single woman. When God gives you a gift he will enable you to use. “He who calls you is faithful, who will also do it”(1 Thessalonians 5:24). Only by God’s grace are we able to live out the gifts he has given to us. Being single is a day to day dependency on the Lord God.

Psalm 42:1 As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants after you, God.

Having a longing for Jesus’ love, and yearning for deeper fellowship with him is normal for people called to singleness. They would abandon anything and everything just to abide in his love; going to that secret place in the heart of God. I am no way saying a married person cannot have such a longing for God and enter the Secret Place but a single person has another level of friendship with God: undivided devotion!I have such a longing for Jesus that nothing else matters. I am not satisfied with human love. It disappoints and fails regularly. God’s love is perfect. Since acknowledging my gift of singleness, my relationship with the Lord is so very much deeper. I truly experience his love in such a tangible way that it takes my breath away and changes me from inside out. The point of being single is that one can draw close to God without any barriers or distractions. As the inspired singer pleads in Psalm 34:8, I have seen and tasted God’s love for me. In fact, I have done this so deeply and powerfully that it’s all I desire and run after daily. To me, the single life summed up in these Scriptures:

Mark 12:30-31 you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. The second is like this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.1 Corinthian 7:34  . . . The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.

I don’t find myself longing for marriage. Instead, I have discovered a contentment in being single and a genuine satisfaction in my relationship with the Lord. I believe that we should be found complete in Christ before we are complete in marriage. Of course, being single does not sentence you to being alone. You can still have friends and surround yourself with great Christian fellowship. Do not despise your singleness. Instead, embrace it with a whole heart. It is an exciting journey. I am so happy that God had chosen me for this vocation and that I responded with, “Yes Lord!”